Today will end soon and tomorrow will come up next.. 3 days to go with the hope of knowing whats gonna happen next... I don't know what I should feel at this moment of time.. confusion is surrounding my thoughts right now...

Yesterday was our fourth meeting since we got back in touch.. It was a very short meeting.. the shortest one in fact.. I was so pissed with myself for being late for the meeting and made her waited for almost an hour on her own...that was an hour wasted for me.. I'm really really sorry my dear.. :(

We had a simple dinner under a very humid weather eventhough its already past sunset... I could see that her mind was very bothered.. Her eyes kept wondering around, staring through the distance... I knew that it would not be easy for me to have a conversation with her.. I guessed I could try to stare at her eyes and made her uncomfortable to get her mind off the problems but it was just temporary...

We had a walk after that trying to digest our dinner which was not much.. We had a good chat on what will be happening in a few days... We discussed on what will the possibilities be... No matter what the subject is about, I've always enjoyed chatting with her.. No matter what the subject is about, she will never fail to smile at me..

We rested on a bench still under a very humid weather... I wondered why the weather was not kind to us... We continued to chat and began expressing our feelings towards one another.. I felt that I was doing it a little too much sometimes.. Saying how much I love her, letting her know how much I wanna be with her and things like that... I'm not sure that she gonna get sick of it sooner or later but I just can't stop doing it.. We held hands throughout the whole journey and were in each others arms at times... We concluded that hopefully, in a few days time, we will be able to get the answers that all of us is waiting all this while but then, I realized that there can be a possibility that it could be our last meeting... a possibility that I might not be able to see her again.. I started to panic but managed to control myself and kept my cool...

Its not that I don't believe that she wanna be with me.. I've never had those doubts.. Even after 10yrs being apart, I can still say that I believe that her feelings for me is true.. That is why I am so afraid to lose her.. Its just a possibility that may happen and we will not be able to meet again.. At that moment, all I wanna do was to just hold her tight and don't wanna let her go.. She look so beautiful.. especially when she was in my arms.. Whats next? I just want this moment to end with a seal of a kiss.. She was reluctant at first when I requested to kiss her and I could understand why.. but deep down in her I just knew that she wants it as bad I want it too.. Slowly I leaned towards her and with that beautiful smile on her face, our lips met... No words could described the feeling when our lips met.. no doubt it ended in a split second, I will surely cherished it for the rest of my life.. She is, with no offense to the others, the love of my life...